I love this photo of Ethan and Esme. It makes my heart happy. 

Ahhh...the joys of yard saling. I spent half the day yesterday dividing up yards of lace, rick rack, etc. to distribute to friends and I still have an obscene amount left over from 2 tags sales, that will take me literally years to use. Today there was a yard sale not far from Ethan's office, so Esme and I stopped by. I am so glad we did! I got 2 full sized park benches, 2 chair sized park benchces (super cute!), and a wheelbarrow for $25. For anyone who doesn't know, that is an amazing deal. The cheapest (and I do mean cheap) park benches I've seen start around $40, so to get that many for so little is really great! I am so excited to have them! I started work on my garden late this year due to Esme's allergies, but since we've been going outside more I've been enjoying it thoroughly. I love having nice seating throughout the yard so I can enjoy all my work.

I just finished reading To Kill a Mockingbird. It's amazing that I made it to 31 years old, 4 years of high school, and a Bachelors degree without every having to read it. People have been recommending it to me for a long time, and Ethan had a paperback copy, so I finally picked it up. What an incredible book!! I wish I had a dad just like Atticus Finch. (Ethan says everybody who ever read the book wishes the same thing.) I loved the subtlety of the story...how things escalate but that isn't always the focus. I'd always heard it was about racism, but I love how it's really just about being a good person.

Ethan just moved the movie to the top of our Netflix queue. I can't wait for it to arrive.

It's June 1st!!!! Hoory!!!! 25 short days until I am freeeeeee!!!!! Most of the time I really like my job, but at this time of year the kids are tired of school and even the teachers are more irritable. I taught this week in a school that seemed like a greenhouse. June 26th is the magic day - the last day of school for the year. Then I'll have two beautiful months off!! It's not like I work a lot to begin with...I average about 5 days a month. But just knowing I'm not going to get that call in the morning makes me sleep better at night. I can't wait to have the time to just devote to Esme. We'll do all kinds of great summer activities and have a wonderful time together. Sigh. 25 long days.

Esme looks so grown up to me in this photo... 

Our azaleas are blooming. 

Dylan slept over last weekend and had a great time with all our wheeled toys in the yard! 

I love this photo SO much!  

This was such a fun day for me. Esme had a wonderful time running around the courtyard outside the Atheneum after we'd been inside for a while.  

This is another one of my Pink Lady projects for this month - I am loving these big Rusty Pickle letters!! I've scoffed two page layouts with pics on only one side in mags for years, and here I am doing one of my own! I asked for this letters so I could do this layout to show Ethan my appreciation for what a great Daddy he is! 

This is one of my Pink Lady projects...also took this pic today.  

I took this photo of me outside today with my timer and I really like it. It's so hard to get pics of myself to use on my AAM album, that I've resorted to trying to use my timer creatively.  

I've just started a journal of advice to my future self regarding my relationship with my adult daughter and her family. Here's what I have so far:

1. Offer to take care of your grandchild frequently. It's not babysitting, it's special time with a special child.

2. If your child asks you to do something, say yes or no. Don't say yes and then guilt her about it. If you can't do it graciously, don't do it at all.

3. Offer to do diaper changes when a baby is visiting. Mommies and Daddies do them constantly, and just doing one for them will seem to them like a mini-vacation. (Especially offer to change poopie ones.)

4. Be a good listener. Be more interested in your child than in yourself.

5. Validate your child. Even if you are tempted to play the Devil's Advocate, remember your child needs someone to be on her side.

6. Do not minimize your child's concerns, hurts, or fears.

7. Give your child space and respect her boundaries, but don't create distance between you.

8. Never stop telling her she's beautiful and smart, and how proud you are of her.

9. Make an effort to get to know and be friends with her in-laws. This will make her life MUCH easier!

10. Let her to the traditional treats (stockings, Easter baskets, etc.) for her children. You had your turn when she was little, and there are plenty of other ways to spoil your grandchildren.

11. Unhealthy foods are NOT a good way to spoil your grandchildren. Keep healthy snacks they like on hand.

12. Do not repeat stories in front of your child in which she comes off poorly.

13. Do not burden your child with unpleasant information about your past.

14. Be realistic about your spouse (and possibly sympathetic!) but never talk badly about him. This can be very divisive to families. Continue to foster a good relationship between your spouse and child.

15. It's okay if your child calls just to talk to Dad.

16. Whenever possible, be waiting at the door when your child arrives and wave goodbye from outside. This lets her know how happy you are to spend time with her.

17. Do not criticize your grandchildren's behavior, even if there is something the parents need to be made aware of. Just tell them the facts without editorializing. Also, if your child is present at the time of the offense, it is not necessary to point in out to her. She has the same powers of observation that you do.

18. Expect the same standards of behavior from your grandchildren that their parents do. When you are caring for them, your grandchildren's discipline is your responsibility. Ask your child to she handles discipline and follow her lead when the children are in your care.

19. Do not blow off your child for different plans unless it is an emergency situation.

20. When your child is an adult, it is okay not to blow off previously made plans for her.

21. Just because your child does something with her children differently that you did or would with her, doesn't mean either of you are wrong. Be open and supportive to your child's ideas.

22. Give the gift of family memberships.

23. Continue to celebrate your child's accomplishments.

24. Offer to take care of your grandchildren if your child isn't feeling well - even if you can only spare a couple hours, it can help!

25. When your grandchild is first born, go over to visit the baby and send the parents to take a nap. Do this often!

26. Offer to keep your grandchildren overnight from an early age, but don't push it if his or her parents aren't ready yet.

27. Let your grandchildren decide whether they sleep with you or alone when they sleep over, and give them both options every time.

I love these photos of Ethan and Esme. I'm glad I got these beach theme supplies from Scraptalk (Narratives by CI) so I had an excuse to pull them out. 

I got the new Rusty Pickle chipboard letters from Scraptalk this month...this is the first layout I've done but I loved playing with them! Hope to get a chance to do some more this weekend. BTW this handsome boy is my nephew at his first birthday party. 

OMG where does it end? In November I started convincing myself that after the holidays, life would slow down, and I'd have tons of time to just hang out or get stuff done around the house. It seems like just when things start to slow down a little bit, we're into a whirlwind again. I'm not saying some of these activities aren't optional, but how to do we fit in everything we HAVE to do, and everything we WANT to do? This was my schedule for the last week or so:

Good Friday: to CT Vicki's house for party, visit to Aunt Mary who I hadn't seen in 7 years, evening with Lisa
Saturday: opening day at Six Flags - got there early and then spent the whole day there with Lisa & family
Sunday: Easter - activities around home and then back to CT for dinner at mom's and a stop at Lisa's house
Monday: drive Ethan to work, run a bunch of emergency errangs, pick Ethan up, and back to Six Flags
Tuesday: went to the office and met my boss for the first time, ran more errands, scrapped with friends at night
Wednesday: this was supposed to be our official day of rest...what we actually did is escaping my tired brain
Thursday: went on scrap store adventure with Stephanie, out to lunch, and to the park with Esme
Friday: babysat Liam and Grace, went to Yankee Candle factory, took Esme for allergy consultation and to have blood drawn
Tomorrow: back to CT for Lisa's "Post Easter Egg Hunt" and more family visits
Sunday: back to CT AGAIN - this time for Dylan's birthday party
Monday: I'm praying to work so I can finally get some rest!

How cute is this?!!? Charles dressed up as the bunny for Vicki's annual party! 

Lately I've been thinking about how important it is to show people in our daily lives how much we love them and how much they mean to us, and I've resolved to do it more. I started by saying, "I love you," every time I see my niece and nephew. A lot of times I just didn't think about it in the craziness of having toddlers together, but now I'm making a special effort.

Tomorrow I'm going to Vicki's annual Easter egg coloring party so I thought about how I could show her I value her. I made her the topiary, and I'm bringing the scrapbook pages of the kids at events at her house during the past year. She throws awesome parties and I think the pages show how much the kids enjoy them. She is a very loving and generous person and I want her to know she is appreciated!!

A year and a half ago, my mother gave us the down payment for our house. I want her to know how much we appreciate and remember that on a daily basis, so for Mother's Day I'm going to make her a shadowbox with a photo of the house in it, and write her a special message from Ethan and me, letting her know how much it means to us.

I want to remember and appreciate all my blessing each and every day. I want my life to be focused on the positive, and spread the love around.

This is one of the stranger projects I've done, but I think I like it! I wanted to give Vicki something tomorrow - she always invites us to her awesome parties, and we just love her. She loves getting homemade gifts, so after seeing a SBR topiary on the Doodlebug site, I decided to igve it a try. It is super glittery in real life! 

I was just printing out pics to crop tomorrow and I came across this. It looks so sad, but it actually one of Stephanie's and my favorites of Esme. The three of us went to see Sesame Street Live right before Esme turned 2, and this photo is a testament to how much Esme loved, it because she started bawling when it was OVER. She cried bitter, bitter tears when she realized the characters were not coming back on stage. Stephanie and I tried not to laugh, but it was so sweet. She'd been absolutely stoic though the whole show, and then later in the afternoon she'd look at us and say, "Elmo!" in a happy way.  

This is my new favorite pages. I did it for Scraptalk - the project was to use the Chip Chatter letters.  

I'm on a mission to improve my language. I'm working toward changing both my grammar and reducing the use of certain words. The words are: Crap Hell Damn Sucks. My little darling (Esme, age 3) has started to pick up a couple of these gems and I'm determined to nip it in the bud. I hardly EVER swear, so I would probably die of embarassment if we were strolling along in Target and Esme said something sucked. As far as the grammar goes, I am perfectly capable of carrying on a grammatically correct conversation, but during the years between moving out of my parents' house and the birth of the Es, I've become very lazy about it. I recently realized that I need to practice what I'm preaching.

I just got my June issue of Memory Makers, and the details of this year's Master contest are outlined. Last year was the first time I really put all the effort in and actually entered a big contest. The hardest part was eating, sleeping, and breathing it right before I mailed my entry. Actually it wasn't too hard on ME, but I think it might have been hard on Ethan, Lisa, and Stephanie. And I think Kyle may have hoped I'd win just so he wouldn't get so many email attachments begging for his excellent constructive criticism. So anyway, beware family and friends, I do intend to enter this year. I've done some of my best layouts in the last year so I'm excited about what this will inspire me to create!

Saturday night I took some nude photos of myself. Last night I scrapped one and posted it on Scraptalk. Okay, so, they only showed from the shoulders up. I was still proud of myself!! Artists do nudes. I could debate being an artist, crafter, designer, or all 3 all day, but on this layout I was striving to be an artist. Nudes show people at their most vulnerable, and I was trying to create a page that really expressed what I was trying to say. The journaling says, "Sometime between the ages of 29 and 30, I forgot how to love myself for who I am. I'm so glad that at 31.5, I can finally remember!"

Fortunately or unfortunately, I can't share the layout with anyone else yet as it is made from some mock products, from a line that won't be debuting til later this year. Not sure when they'll go public, but I'm amazed that I'm completely open to sharing my nude layout with the world!

My very first pub has hit the shelves! Look for a page of Esme on page 144 of the Joann's Idea Book Volume 2!!

Three things you wish for:

1. To be the best wife possible.
   
2. To be the best mother possible.
   
3. To be the best friend possible.
   

3 Things You Would Do To/For Yourself If There Was No One To Judge You (…or if you had the guts to do it!)

1. Color my hair purple
   
2. Wear beads in my hair
   
3. Never wear footwear again
   

3 Bad Habits You Have

1. Not cleaning up after myself
2. Being Judgemental
3. Staying Up Too Late
   

3 Insecurities You Feel

1. I don't have any original ideas.
   
2. I'm way overweight.
   
3. My friends don't love me.
   

3 Talents/Skills you wish you had

1. Play a portable instrument.
   
2. Scrapbook as Freely as Elsie Flannigan
   
3. Housecleaning.
   

3 Things That You Would Do If You Had More Time

1. Scrapbook
2. Read more
   
3. Write

3 Things That Bring You Peace/Relaxation

1. Scrapbooking
2. Family naps
   
3. Visiting my best friend.
   

3 Things That Spark Your Creativity

1. Great photos.
   
2. Pink Lady projects
   
3. new idea books

I'm going to take Ethan and Stephanie!

I am tired of living in a disorganized house. I am SO tired of it. I wish I knew how to be better at keeping things together. It seems so easy for some people, but it's so hard for me. I grew up in a household much worse than my own, so in some ways I'm glad I'm at least doing better than my parents. Ethan and I are both natural packrats so that doesn't help. Right now my sbing area is such a mess, I have to specially clean it to have my best friend over tomorrow. Aye aye aye.

On my drive home from CT on Tuesday I was thinking about scrapbooking and original ideas. Sometimes I wonder if there are any original ideas left, and then someone comes out with some amazing new products, or I discover a new person's work who blows me away.

For the last few months I've been working on getting a little more recognition as a scrapper. Being a Pink Lady boosted my ego tremendously, but now I'd like to get a few more things in print. My first published layout is in the Joanns Idea Book Volume 2, which should be hitting the shelves any day now. But every time I read a mag I see ideas and I think...how come I can't come up with something like that? How come I don't have a new and fabulous techniques that gets me into CK on my first try?

Some designers say you shouldn't read the mags if you want to get published, because your stuff ends up looking too much like everyone else's. But I LOVE reading the mags!! Until last week I had about 4 feet of copies of Creativing Keepsakes, Memory Makers, Simple Scrapbooks, and Scrapbooks, Etc. stacked in my living room. I have to keep them close so I can read them again and again. How would I know what Brecken, Porter, and Tyler were up to if I didn't read CK?!?! Seriously though, the fact that I can name children of 3 of the editors makes me believe that I AM too invested in these mags. (and yes I can name a lot more than that.)

So anyway, while I was playing with Esme and talking to Lisa on the phone today, I came up with what MAY be an original idea. I'm going to try to put it to use tonight while Ethan is working late. Look for me in the Tips and Techniques section soon!

I love this photo Aunt Cathy took of Esme and me! 

Even at 2 years old, Esme can appreciate the joy of scented candles. 

Yankee Candle

This past Friday Aunt Cathy, Esme, and I went up to the Yankee Candly Factory Outlet. They were having an awesome sale, so we got our great deals and then browsed the place. We all had a great time - Esme especially enjoyed making a wish in the Bavarian Village and keeping track of both Aunt Cathy and me.

Queen AC and Princess Esme 

Aunt Cathy as a pirate - we were having a little too much fun in the funny hat section!! 

Esme really liked these rocks in the toy section - she kept going back to them. 

I've been finding so much sbing inspiration lately. First, I finaly decided it was time to recycle all the mags I've been amassing since the Fall of 2000. I have at least a couple trees worth on my shelves. So I'm going through them and ripping out the pages that have ideas I want to save. I have LOVED looking at these so much! I keep finding myself drawn to the same designers over and over - Rebecca Sower, Michelle Minken, etc.

Speaking of designers, I am newly a big fan of Elsie Flannigan. I love her style! It's so fun and funky and free! I want to be more free like that with my pages. I loved her layout in the new CK where she drew on the aluminum tape and then painted it. If you haven't seen her work, check out of her blog. I added it to my links list.

I've also been finding inspiration in the clothing around me - not mine, but other people's. Esme has a cute little jumper with embroidered flowers on it. I was looking at the flowers very closely yesterday, and thinking how much fun they'd be to recreate with paper. The other day I went to a meeting at church at the priest was wearing an exact same shirt that Stephanie has. That doesn't seem like a big deal, but they are very different people, and it was a pattern that I strongly associate with Stephanie, so it was a little weird. It got me thinking about what patterns and fabrics I associate with other people, and I was thinking I should use that idea on a scrapbook page.

Me and my little Valentine - photo taken by my big Valentine. 

Isn't this an impish look? 

Esme loved the Elmo Valentine's Day balloon we got her. 

My guy and his cutie Valentine! 

NSBR. It's making me very sad. I'm not sure I can take it in there anymore. People are calling each other terrible names, they're hurting their friends, they're making racist remarks, or nasty remarks about other Pea's autistic children. Is this what the world is coming to? I sincerely hope that this isn't what a slice of the real world is like. I keep going back because my best friend, Stephanie, and I like to talk about it. But at this point I'm not sure if this is something I need in my life. For now I think I'll be sticking to the Pub and GS.

Thinking about this makes me really grateful to be a part of Scraptalk. I feel very at ease there.

Anyway, as a general rule, I have decided to try to minimize the violence, negativity, and other non-essential disharmony in my life. Ethan and I decided this weekend to stop eating beef and pork. We're trying it til Easter and then we'll evaluate to see if it's working for us. I am 99% positive that I'm going to stop watching 24. It's hard because of peer pressure (Ethan!) but I'm just not sure I can take another season of the non-stop, gratuitous violence. Maybe I am becoming a hippie, but I feel this will be better for me.

I hate insurance. Any and all insurance. It's a scam. Just had to get that off my chest!

I had a wonderful day today - I got to spend more than 3 hours talking to and shooting photos of my brother and his fiancee, Kim. She is everything I could hope for for him. They have similar senses of humor which is a little bit scary! They brought me along to check out a potential site for their wedding - I'm honored they want my opinions on something as important as their wedding plans. They suffered amiably through an outdoor photo shoot on the beach in New England in January with no coats! We laughed sooo much - it made my heart happy spending time with them.

The next cover of GQ...I don't think so! This is my youngest brother, Charles, during his solo section of the Engagement photo shoot today. He thinks he looks like "Nick Lachey." Ugh! This photo cracks me up though, so I had to post it. 

Remember how excited I was a few months ago to be accepted onto 2 Design Teams? Well, I resigned from one of them today. The owner so was disorganized and uncommunicative, I just couldn't take it anymore. I'm bummed though - I wish it hadn't come to that. I tried to address my concerns but got no response, so I guess it really was time to move on.

I'm so glad I still have Scraptalk!! I love being a Pink Lady and can't wait to see Deb's Scrap Scoop from CHA!!

My nativity is still up.

Esme has a cold. Yesterday she was soooo good-natured and sweet about everything - I felt soo bad for her because she obviously felt miserable but she had such a good attitude. Today made up for that. She was MISERABLE. The only thing that has made her happy all day was seeing Jenn L, the scrapbooking manager at AC Moore. They have a very close relationship. Esme sees Jenn more than she seems my mom!!

So when Ethan gets home, I'm going to hide for a while. I'm coming down to the cave and I'm going to continue organizing my scrapbooking supplies. It gives me a chance to fondle my paper so it's actually pretty fun. Plus I can watch a Seinfeld rerun - ahhh simple pleasures.

This Saturday something very exciting is going to happen - I'm going to be taking my youngest brother's engagement photos! I'm taking them at Avery Point in Groton - what a wonderful setting! I can't wait to pose them and take great shots. Plus I'm finally meeting Jill, his future sister-in-law, who both he and his fiancee say I will love.