These boot were made for walking! 

I love October. I never cared much about Fall until Esme was born, but the last two years Fall has been a fun and happy time for us. We do lots of Fall activities like going apple picking, hayrides, pumpkin picking, playing in the leaves, baking Fall foods, going to see the Pumpkin People. I love the weather because it is just so generally comfortable. Last year in October I got to see Stephanie a lot and that made is great too. I'm so glad today is October 1st.

Checking out the baby chicks 

Just because this blog needs ONE MORE carousel photo! 

Esme enjoyed her first caramel apple! 

My self portrait from the House of Mirrors! 

OMG I am so tired right now. We spent 6 great hours at the Big E today, and it wore me out! I love going places with Ethan and Esme. They are so fun to be with, and Esme loves getting both her parents all to herself to take her on exciting outings.

Esme was very interested in the animals, the rides, and the food. She got to try a lot of treats today like a Philly Cheesesteak sandwich, fried dough, a cider doughnut, and a caramel apple. Of course these were all things she just had tastes of. Her favorite ride was a little train she went on with Ethan. She was happy because they got to sit in the engine car. She also got to see a parade right before we left and the marching bands were a big hit.

I got to do something new too - I went into a house of mirrors for the first time. I went in by myself and took my camera to get some fun self portraits. I think I got a couple good shots.

I haven't scrapbooked in over a week! OMG that is a looong time for me! I usually scrap at least 3 nights a week and for an extended period on Thursday. Last week I was sick and then I was helping my MIL with her craft fair so I didn't have time to do anything. I'm soooo excited to get back to it tonight! Now I just have to decide what I want to work on!

One more list for tonight...some of the reasons I love Ethan:

1. He's so cute.
2. He's very interesting to talk to.
3. He's very thoughtful in both his actions and opinions.
4. He's a great dad to Esme.
5. He has cool hair.
6. He's very supportive of everything I do.
7. He's made and is continuing to make a real effort to understand my religion.
8. He has a great sense of humor.
9. He plays the video games I like with me.
10. He makes me dinner when I don't feel up to it.
11. He lets me sleep in a lot.
12. He runs errands for me.
13. He's a good listener.
14. He understands me.

My results from TheColorQuiz.com:

Existing Situation
Defensive. Feels her position is threatened or inadequately established. Determined to pursue her objectives despite the anxiety induced by opposition.

Stress Sources
Eager to make a good impression, but worried and doubtful about the likelihood of succeeding. Feels that she has a right to anything she might hope for, and becomes helpless and distressed when circumstances go against her. Finds the mere possibility of failure most upsetting and this can even lead to nervous prostration. Sees herself as a 'victim' who has been misled and abused, mistakes this dramatization for reality and tries to convince herself that her failure to achieve standing and recognition is the fault of others.

Restrained Characteristics
Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense. Sensitive and sentimental, but conceals this from all except those very close to him. Very exacting in the standards she applies to her choice of a partner and seeking a rather unrealistic perfection in her sex life.

Desired Objective
Urgently in need of rest, relaxation, peace, and affectionate understanding. Feels she has been treated with a lack of consideration and is upset and agitated as a result. Regards her situation as intolerable as long as her requirements are not complied with.

Actual Problem
Depleted vitality has created an intolerance for any further stimulation, or demands on her resources. A feeling of powerlessness subjects her to agitation and acute distress. Tries to escape from this by relinquishing the struggle, and by finding peaceful and restful conditions in which to recuperate in an atmosphere of affection and security.

Actual Problem #2
Disappointment at the non-fulfillment of her hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety. She is trying to escape from this into a peaceful and harmonious relationship, protecting her from dissatisfaction and lack of appreciation.

This is a challenge from 2 Peas - Ten Weird Things About Me:

1. I hate tomatoes. Lots of people don't like tomatoes, what's weird is how much I abhor them. I hate tomatoes more than I hate social injustice.
2. If I start saying the alphabet I have to say the whole thing, even if it's only in my head. It must be an OCD thing.
3. My family secretly pretends that a former U.S. Congressman my mother knew as a child is my real father.
4. I cannot eat food that was stored in a community space or fridge. I don't mean in someone's home, but like at work. I bring a cooler so I won't have to put my soda in the fridge.
5. I still love listening to what was my favorite record at 4 years old. (Peter, Paul, and Mommy.)
6. I do not like people to sit on my bed. My only exceptions are my DH (of course), my DD, my nephew, and one of my brothers. I don't know why it doesn't bother me with one of my brothers, but it does with the other.
7. I cannot develop an accent for any language but English, no matter how hard I try. I've been told I have a strong Connecticut accent.
8. I am only good at video games that move vertically rather than horizontally.
9. I never get any suggestion of sex or homosexualtiy in movies unless it is specifically spelled out.
10. I love listening to a couple conservative talk shows even though I'm a die hard liberal.

When Esme looked in the mirror she was soo pleased with the butterfly. She loved looking at it and talking about it.  

Esme was a little apprehensive about getting her face painted. She'd seen a little girl earlier with her face painted though and she was very interested. The girl had a pink and purple butterfly and she said they were also doing pumpkins. I asked Esme what she wanted to get and she wanted a butterfly.  

Esme got to go on her first Pony ride at teh Fall Fair 

My mom and I took Esme apple picking at a small farm in South Hadley today. Esme had such a great time! She ran around and around and loved picking the apples off the trees. 

Grandma watches Esme pick an apple. 

More picking apples... 

I love this photo of Aunt Cathy and Esme together! 

Esme and Aunt Cathy enjoy the Up Down together.  

Look at that cheesy grin! 

Tonight rush at the bookstore is officially over! Yayyyyy! Now normal life can resume in our home! I'm so glad I'll finally be able to spend some quality time with Ethan again.

Both my grandmothers were born in September - on the 14th and the 25th. I've been thinking about them a lot lately, and remembering their houses and the way they made me feel. I've been recalling all the sensory details - the way my grandmother's "beef with onion soup" smelled, the way the paint on her door felt. Or the way my other grandmother hutch smelled inside when she opened it to get me a Hershey kiss, or how excited I was to watch her *color* TV. I want to scrapbook these details as soon as possible and share these memories with my family.

Word on the street is that the calls could come out from Memory Makers as early as tomorrow to the winners of the Masters contest. I wish it was going to be longer! The longer they wait to announce, the longer I can dream that maybe I'd win. I keep thinking what it would be like to have that $1,200 box of scrap supplies arrive at my door. And what it would be like to call Stephanie and Lisa and tell them about it. Geez, just being a HM would be such a thrill! I wish it was another month until the announced the winners.

I received my first Design Team supplies! I got an envelope from Scraptalk and a box from ScrapZone yesterday! Of course I had to start a layout last night. I got about halfway through before I realized it was really time for me to go to bed.

I've unpacked several more boxes and started to reorganize our laundry room. My house is so disorganized right now it's overwhelming. I'm glad I can get little bits done while Esme is occupied by something else. I want to have a harvest party at my house and so I want to get the whole house in good order in time.

The idea of a harvest party really appeals to me. We have some friends that don't do Halloween, but they can still do pumpkins and apples and all kinds of other fun fall things. Also, by having a harvest theme instead of Halloween we have a much greater range of time we can plan in, and we won't have to compete with other parties. I hope I'll be able to have my family and few friends come.

Well, I've decided it's time to unpack. We've lived here for 11 months and I'm tired of looking at the boxes. So today Esme and I made pumpkin muffins and while they baked and cooled I unpacked three boxes. It takes a long time for me to feel at home anywhere (probably because of the number of times I've moved) but I finally feel like settling in here. I want to set everything up the way we dreamed it would be. I want to have our rooms in order. I'm starting with the kitchen because that's the place I feel like I have the most control over.

It is wonderful to cook with Esme. She is an enthusiastic chef. She loves getting ingedients out of the pantry, pouring, and mixing. Cooking with her brings back so many happy memories of cooking with the women in my family.

I took Esme to Six Flags today. It is one of her favorite places on Earth! She had such a good time going on all the rides. I love watching her enjoy it so much. It was a wonderful day together.  

For me, spending time with my girls is the best part. 

Seeing new sites from high up on the (children's) Ferris Wheel 

Esme loves to ride the Big Apple! 

Esme's favorite ride ever is the Carousel! 

Summer is officially over. I have to work tomorrow. Boo hiss! I'm going to be in a classroom with kids with severe special needs - it won't be an easy day and of course tomorrow is Ethan's only day off this week so I'll miss out on spending time with him to boot. Arrgh.

I am getting frustrated with reorganizing my scrapping space. It seems like it is a neverending project. But when I take break to do some actual sbing, it seems like all my work gets undone and I have to start over. I wish I could hire a professional organizer to come in and do it for me!

I really need to get some photos of myself. Lately I've been having all sorts of ideas for my All About Me album but I don't want to do all just-journaling pages! I want to do pages about my political affliation, being an Episcopalian, being a landlady, etc. Plus I need to get a new pink outfit so I can scrap being a Pink Lady.

My friend Sheila had the best idea to document where and when she was published. She has a mini album and on each pages she included a little copy of the page or card, plus the cover of the publication. I think it's such a great idea, I'm going to start one myself and include being chosen for the Design Teams.

I can't stop thinking about the Chronicles of Narnia. They were so beautiful from a Christian perspective and they really opened my eyes in certain ways. I love how Aslan was both terrible and wonderful at the same time. I keep going over certain quotes in my mind and thinking that C.S. Lewis must have had a very close personal relationship with God, and I hope someday I will have as deep an understanding as he did. I'm going to post my favorite and what I found the most thought provoking quotes, but I have to wait for Ethan to finish the series so I don't give too much away!

I hate rush! Ethan is the textbook manager at a college store and this is his busiest time of year. I hate it!! I miss him so much when he works these crazy hours, and it makes for a long day with Esme without the breaks he gives me when he gets home! I'll be so glad when it's over.

The school system I sub in starts back tomorrow, which means I could be busy myself. I have LOVED having the summer off this year. It's been so refreshing for me. It will be nice to occasionally have some money again though.

This is the response to a blog challenge at 2 peas from pussicat. It was to take your own portrait and post it.  

For weeks or maybe even months now I have been keeping my mouth shut for the most part on the NSBR section of 2 Peas. I'd just had enough of the mean-spirited bickering. Tonight there was a big political discussion going on and I jumped in! For anyone who doesn't know, the NSBR is mostly very conservative, with a few moderates, and a few liberals. You can imagine that what I said was not well-received. BTW, you can see the thread here I jumped in at the top of page 3.

On one hand it felt really good to be part of a lively political debate, and I definitely stand behind my statements. On the other hand it felt like a step backward. I've been working so hard to be recognized as a scrapbooker, I don't want that to evaporate because people see me arguing in on a message board. Not everyone is able to seperate someone's work from their opinions. And anyway I'm not sure I want to argue anymore unless I'm in a group where it might actually matter. Often arguing with the peas can be just for arugments sake. I don't want to waste my energy.

So now I'm not sure if I regret it or not - but it's out there. And even though I will try, anyone who's placing bets on me being able to keep my opinions to myself in the future is probably going to be losing money.

I had the nicest day with Esme today. We were supposed to go to Six Flags but that didn't quite work out the way I'd planned so we went to Northampton instead. We walked through Thornes and Esme saw all kinds of things that she was interested in - pillows shaped like cats, cups for babies, etc. We walked down the street to Cha Cha Cha and had our usual quesadillas. I took her into Sweeties for the first time and got to take photos of her looking at all the candy! We bought lollipops and then went for a walk and ate them. It was the biggest lollipop she'd ever had so it took her a looong time to finish. It was so nice just to be outside with her and watch her observe and comment on everything. She pointed out the front of a building that was covered with rocks, a tiny dog (nothing is small to her - there is only big or tiny), people walking, etc. I love her interpretations of the things around her. After Northampton we had to go to the Holyoke Mall on a couple errands and she was fascinated by a couple of babies she saw. She loves riding in a shopping cart and got quite excited about it at Target. I love that my daughter is only 2 and already loves shopping!

I finished reading the Chronicles of Narnia today. It was very interesting to read them as an adult and gave me a totally different perspective. The only one I hadn't finished as a child was Voyage of the Dawn Treader because it was too scary. I found I was even more scared for the characters as an adult! They really made me think about Christianity in some different ways as well.

Oh my goodness - I logged onto Two Peas this morning and discovered I am the Pubster of the Day! Sometimes it's easy to start feeling invisible in such a big crowd of people, so this was such a nice surprise! I need to think of some good RAKs for this evening.

Us and the cake! Don't they look proud! 

Friends cake made by Liam, Grace, and Esme. Esme decorated the part to the far left.  

Today was my last Thursday babysitting for Liam and Grace. I've looked forward to seeing them every week and I'm glad Esme's had this chance to socialize with them on a regular basis. We made a special cake today to celebrate the fun we had this summer.

I'm a Pink Lady!!!!!!!!

I didn't think I had much of a chance of making the Design Team at scraptalk.com, but I got the best news today - I am on the team! Yay!

I was just reading on the message board that the owner had made her decisions, and that everyone would hear in the next few days. I checked my email and didn't have any new messages so I was a little bummed. Just a few minutes later my phone rang - it was Deb from scraptalk inviting me to be on the team! Yaaaayyyy!!!

PS All that waiting I was complaining about - it was SO worth it!

I got to swim in the ocean today by myself. My mom, Esme, Charles, and Dylan were all in the vicinity, but I lot to laze around in the cool water and let the waves rock me all by myself. I thought about a tiny shell being washed out to the big ocean and imagined what it would feel like. It was very peaceful.

I really missed my dad today. I almost called him while I was in Groton but I didn't.

I really enjoyed seeing Lisa earlier in the day. She is such a wonderful person. I love how unconditional she is with her love and affection, and how patient she is with children. She was having a rough time taming 3 kids under 7, but she did pretty well.

I was just invited to be a Guest Designer at PurpleSnoodle. I don't know what month yet, but when I get some layouts up I will post a link!

I just finished reading Beloved by Toni Morrison. I read Sula a few years ago and was prepared to dislike Beloved as much as I like that book. I saw a copy while I was babysitting and it was just calling to be picked up so I did. So I read chapter one and then asked Ethan to get it out of the library for me. What a powerful book! I really, really enjoyed it. I heard it was creepy and sad and of course it was both those things, but it went far beyond those elements. It's a story about strong women who are worn out by the terrible circumstances they are placed in, and what happens through 3 generations. I would highly recommend this book!

I feel very sensitive right now. I have a lot going on with important relationships.

Last night I took Esme to Evelyn's house in NH to see the fireworks. Esme had such a wonderful time and I was so glad. Even when I am very depressed, seeing her happy brings me joy. She stayed up super late and never really got cranky either, which was near a miracle.

I can't wait to get working on my Design Team assignments. I can't wait to find out what products I'll be working with and what challenges I'll find!

I had the best time scrapping with Lisa last night! I got to her house at nearly 9 and I stayed til midnight! I got to do this album for Ethan though: A Girl For All Seasons

Whooo-hooo! I got more good news today! I am going to have a scrapbook page published for the first time! I am going to have a Fall page of Esme published in the Joann's Idea Book 2! This is a big accomplishment for me!

I am finally at liberty to say, I made the ScrapZone.dom Design Team! Yaaaayyy! I am soooo excited! Now I just can't wait to find out who the other DT members are.

I love love love that Ethan got me a DVD player for my scrapbooking room for my birthday. He has been very into watching movies lately, so now he just sits down and we watch them together while I get some scrapping done. We watched a couple episodes of Six Feet Under last night and it was such a nice, simple way to spend time together.

On another positive note, Wolfgang is fixing our car for us. We appreciate him so much, and this was sooo generous of him. Now we'll be paying a lot less and know we're not getting ripped off.

I feel like I am dealing with one crisis after another right now. First I start with problems getting a prescription I really need filled, then our car breaks down, etc. I would like one day when I don't have to make any phone calls, don't have to pay out any huge sums of money, etc.

Right now I am lifting my spirits through scrapbooking. I am working on a mini album to give to Liam and Grace at the end of the summer. I'm keeping it pretty simple, but it's coming out pretty cute so far. Here a link to it: Liam and Grace's Album. It's amazing how much better I feel after channeling some of this energy into creativity!

I had the best time at Six Flag with Liam, Grace, Clare, and Esme on Friday. They are so fun and it was exactly what I needed. Liam and Grace are so full of youthful exhuberance and curiosity - I loved watching them get excited about the trip. At one point we were on the highway and Liam said, "I see it! I see it!," and I had to say, "No, that's the city of Sprinfield." OMG these kids crack me up. I love the way they are with Esme too. They are always willing to help so she can take part in the fun.

No announcements yet. The stores got so many entries that they both had to delay their decisions. I think I have a good chance at one of them, but it could be another week before we get word. I hate waiting!

I'm re-reading the Chronicle of Narnia. With the movie due out this Christmas, I wanted to remember all the little details and enjoy them again before seeing it. I just started The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Ethan and I were trying to decide if we should read them in the order they were published or in the chronologial order of the story. I've reached the chapter where all four children go into the wardrobe, and I'm finding it almost as exciting as the first time I read it when I was 8.

I have applied to be on 7 Design Teams in the last month and I was sooo pumped up about applying! But now that the time to sit back and see if I've got a place on any of them has come, I bummed out. The applications made me feel very motivated to scrap - I'd like to get onto one just to have that sense of a deadline to motivate me further. I will be the Guest Designer at ebbcreations.com for the month of October, but I am waiting to hear back from 6 others sites. Two announce on Monday.

Today I realized the 8,582nd reason I love Ethan. He is so wonderful with our nephew! I've loved Dylan since he was born because he is Charles' son, and Charles is my brother. Ethan loves him just because he is Dylan. I love how Ethan gets right down on his level and shows so much genuine affection for him. I am so glad to have such a wonderful husband, who is so generous with his love!

We have Dylan this weekend. It is amazing how different he and Esme are. Part of it is their age (he is 1 yo, 13 months younger than her) but another big part if it is their personalities. He is so fussy! He gets a tiny bump, the kind Esme wouldn't even notice, and he's hysterical. He can't be left alone in a room or he'll scream his little head off. Esme goes in her playroom and closes the door. He is much more easily distracted that she is though - once she gets fixated on something there is no turning her away from it. He is more like baby mood swing - he can be bawling and then 2 seconds later be laughing at a funny face you made. Both kids are very affectionate and I love that about them! Dylan and Esme both give great hugs! Having him here this weekend definitely makes me appreciate that I live with the easy-going child in the family.

Esme and I got to join Ellen, Liam, Grace, Clare, and Stephanie in a swim this afternoon! It felt so good to float around in the water after all the hot days we've been having. I'm feeling a little water logged now but not too bad.

I had my first layout accepted to the Basic Grey Gallery today! It's not as fabulous as getting published or anything, but it's still good so I was happy. Here is a link to it: Esme - Youth

I am so freaking tired. I haven't been sleeping well for weeks and it's really starting to catch up with me. I think I need a day just to get some rest!

I love scrapbooking. It is the perfect hobby for me. I love taking photos of the people I love and then making a creative way to showcase them. I love the supplies used in scrapbooking - ribbon, pretty papers, fabrics, etc. I love the community of scrappers I've found. Most of all I love that I was introduced to scrapbooking by my friend Lisa, and that I met my friend Stephanie through scrapbooking.

I'm really appreciating my friend Janis right now. She knows I have been depressed lately and has been calling to check on me a lot. Also she got me a great birthday present and made a special effort to call me today. She is a very thoughtful person and I love that about her.

Well, it's my birthday. I thought I was going to be spending the day with my two best friends today but that didn't work out. I sat around feeling sorry for myself this morning and then decided to take Esme out for a while. We went and had lunch at Cha Cha Cha and then walked around Noho a bit. I took a few photos of her that came out beautifully. Then we went to the hospital where she was born and visited one of our nurses from our stay. The nurse was excited to see Esme and showed her one of the newborns in the ward now.

If this isn't an Ethan expression I don't know what is!

More fun photos... 

Exhuberant Esme in Noho! 

I mailed my Memory Makers Masters entry this week. Of course everyone wants to win, but I am hugely proud of myself just for entering. Every year I have talked about entering the big contests (MMM, HOF, PK) but this i the first time I have sat down, worked extra hard on my pages, and sent them in. I even got as far as copying some one year and then lost my nerve. Just preparing and sending the entry was an accomplishment for me. Whether I win or not I am glad I took that step.