Saturday night I took some nude photos of myself. Last night I scrapped one and posted it on Scraptalk. Okay, so, they only showed from the shoulders up. I was still proud of myself!! Artists do nudes. I could debate being an artist, crafter, designer, or all 3 all day, but on this layout I was striving to be an artist. Nudes show people at their most vulnerable, and I was trying to create a page that really expressed what I was trying to say. The journaling says, "Sometime between the ages of 29 and 30, I forgot how to love myself for who I am. I'm so glad that at 31.5, I can finally remember!"

Fortunately or unfortunately, I can't share the layout with anyone else yet as it is made from some mock products, from a line that won't be debuting til later this year. Not sure when they'll go public, but I'm amazed that I'm completely open to sharing my nude layout with the world!

My very first pub has hit the shelves! Look for a page of Esme on page 144 of the Joann's Idea Book Volume 2!!

Three things you wish for:

1. To be the best wife possible.
   
2. To be the best mother possible.
   
3. To be the best friend possible.
   

3 Things You Would Do To/For Yourself If There Was No One To Judge You (…or if you had the guts to do it!)

1. Color my hair purple
   
2. Wear beads in my hair
   
3. Never wear footwear again
   

3 Bad Habits You Have

1. Not cleaning up after myself
2. Being Judgemental
3. Staying Up Too Late
   

3 Insecurities You Feel

1. I don't have any original ideas.
   
2. I'm way overweight.
   
3. My friends don't love me.
   

3 Talents/Skills you wish you had

1. Play a portable instrument.
   
2. Scrapbook as Freely as Elsie Flannigan
   
3. Housecleaning.
   

3 Things That You Would Do If You Had More Time

1. Scrapbook
2. Read more
   
3. Write

3 Things That Bring You Peace/Relaxation

1. Scrapbooking
2. Family naps
   
3. Visiting my best friend.
   

3 Things That Spark Your Creativity

1. Great photos.
   
2. Pink Lady projects
   
3. new idea books

I'm going to take Ethan and Stephanie!

I am tired of living in a disorganized house. I am SO tired of it. I wish I knew how to be better at keeping things together. It seems so easy for some people, but it's so hard for me. I grew up in a household much worse than my own, so in some ways I'm glad I'm at least doing better than my parents. Ethan and I are both natural packrats so that doesn't help. Right now my sbing area is such a mess, I have to specially clean it to have my best friend over tomorrow. Aye aye aye.

On my drive home from CT on Tuesday I was thinking about scrapbooking and original ideas. Sometimes I wonder if there are any original ideas left, and then someone comes out with some amazing new products, or I discover a new person's work who blows me away.

For the last few months I've been working on getting a little more recognition as a scrapper. Being a Pink Lady boosted my ego tremendously, but now I'd like to get a few more things in print. My first published layout is in the Joanns Idea Book Volume 2, which should be hitting the shelves any day now. But every time I read a mag I see ideas and I think...how come I can't come up with something like that? How come I don't have a new and fabulous techniques that gets me into CK on my first try?

Some designers say you shouldn't read the mags if you want to get published, because your stuff ends up looking too much like everyone else's. But I LOVE reading the mags!! Until last week I had about 4 feet of copies of Creativing Keepsakes, Memory Makers, Simple Scrapbooks, and Scrapbooks, Etc. stacked in my living room. I have to keep them close so I can read them again and again. How would I know what Brecken, Porter, and Tyler were up to if I didn't read CK?!?! Seriously though, the fact that I can name children of 3 of the editors makes me believe that I AM too invested in these mags. (and yes I can name a lot more than that.)

So anyway, while I was playing with Esme and talking to Lisa on the phone today, I came up with what MAY be an original idea. I'm going to try to put it to use tonight while Ethan is working late. Look for me in the Tips and Techniques section soon!

I love this photo Aunt Cathy took of Esme and me! 

Even at 2 years old, Esme can appreciate the joy of scented candles. 

Yankee Candle

This past Friday Aunt Cathy, Esme, and I went up to the Yankee Candly Factory Outlet. They were having an awesome sale, so we got our great deals and then browsed the place. We all had a great time - Esme especially enjoyed making a wish in the Bavarian Village and keeping track of both Aunt Cathy and me.

Queen AC and Princess Esme 

Aunt Cathy as a pirate - we were having a little too much fun in the funny hat section!! 

Esme really liked these rocks in the toy section - she kept going back to them. 

I've been finding so much sbing inspiration lately. First, I finaly decided it was time to recycle all the mags I've been amassing since the Fall of 2000. I have at least a couple trees worth on my shelves. So I'm going through them and ripping out the pages that have ideas I want to save. I have LOVED looking at these so much! I keep finding myself drawn to the same designers over and over - Rebecca Sower, Michelle Minken, etc.

Speaking of designers, I am newly a big fan of Elsie Flannigan. I love her style! It's so fun and funky and free! I want to be more free like that with my pages. I loved her layout in the new CK where she drew on the aluminum tape and then painted it. If you haven't seen her work, check out of her blog. I added it to my links list.

I've also been finding inspiration in the clothing around me - not mine, but other people's. Esme has a cute little jumper with embroidered flowers on it. I was looking at the flowers very closely yesterday, and thinking how much fun they'd be to recreate with paper. The other day I went to a meeting at church at the priest was wearing an exact same shirt that Stephanie has. That doesn't seem like a big deal, but they are very different people, and it was a pattern that I strongly associate with Stephanie, so it was a little weird. It got me thinking about what patterns and fabrics I associate with other people, and I was thinking I should use that idea on a scrapbook page.

Me and my little Valentine - photo taken by my big Valentine. 

Isn't this an impish look? 

Esme loved the Elmo Valentine's Day balloon we got her. 

My guy and his cutie Valentine! 

NSBR. It's making me very sad. I'm not sure I can take it in there anymore. People are calling each other terrible names, they're hurting their friends, they're making racist remarks, or nasty remarks about other Pea's autistic children. Is this what the world is coming to? I sincerely hope that this isn't what a slice of the real world is like. I keep going back because my best friend, Stephanie, and I like to talk about it. But at this point I'm not sure if this is something I need in my life. For now I think I'll be sticking to the Pub and GS.

Thinking about this makes me really grateful to be a part of Scraptalk. I feel very at ease there.

Anyway, as a general rule, I have decided to try to minimize the violence, negativity, and other non-essential disharmony in my life. Ethan and I decided this weekend to stop eating beef and pork. We're trying it til Easter and then we'll evaluate to see if it's working for us. I am 99% positive that I'm going to stop watching 24. It's hard because of peer pressure (Ethan!) but I'm just not sure I can take another season of the non-stop, gratuitous violence. Maybe I am becoming a hippie, but I feel this will be better for me.

I hate insurance. Any and all insurance. It's a scam. Just had to get that off my chest!

I had a wonderful day today - I got to spend more than 3 hours talking to and shooting photos of my brother and his fiancee, Kim. She is everything I could hope for for him. They have similar senses of humor which is a little bit scary! They brought me along to check out a potential site for their wedding - I'm honored they want my opinions on something as important as their wedding plans. They suffered amiably through an outdoor photo shoot on the beach in New England in January with no coats! We laughed sooo much - it made my heart happy spending time with them.

The next cover of GQ...I don't think so! This is my youngest brother, Charles, during his solo section of the Engagement photo shoot today. He thinks he looks like "Nick Lachey." Ugh! This photo cracks me up though, so I had to post it.